It’s Almost Here – National Cookbook Month !

CLICK ABOVE TO PLAY MUSIC

Music – “Happy Cooking” from Happy Cooking by Eiji Kitamura. Released: 1986

                        For those not in the know, October features many “national” events,               according to popular lore:

National I’m Just Me Because Month
Adopt A Shelter Dog Month
AIDS Awareness Month (President Reagan)
American Cheese Month
Antidepressant Death Awareness Month
Bat Appreciation Month
Breast Cancer Awareness Month
(World) Blindness Awareness Month
Caffeine Addiction Recovery Month
Celebrating The Bilingual Child Month
Children’s Magazine Month
Christmas Seal Campaign
Church Library Month
Church Safety and Security Month
Class Reunion Month
Co-op Awareness Month
Cut Out Dissection Month
Down Syndrome Awareness Month
Dyslexia Awareness Month
Eat Better, Eat Together Month
Emotional Intelligence Awareness Month
Emotional Wellness Month
Employee Ownership Month
Energy Management is a Family Affair-Improve Your Home Month
Financial Planning Month
Feral Hog Month or Hog Out Month
German-American Heritage Month
Global Diversity Awareness Month
Go Hog Wild – Eat Country Ham
Halloween Safety Month
Head Start Awareness Month
Health Literacy Month
Home Eye Safety Month
Italian-American Heritage Month
International Augmentative & Alternative Communication (AAC) Awareness Month
International Starman Month
International Strategic Planning Month
International Walk To School Month
LGBT History Month
Long Term Care Planning Month
Month of Free Thought
National Animal Safety and Protection Month
National Apple Month
National Applejack Month
National Arts & Humanities Month
National Audiology Awareness Month
National Bake and Decorate Month
National Book Month
National Bullying Prevention Month
National Caramel Month
National Chili Month
National Chiropractic Month

National Cookbook Month

National Cookie Month
National Crime Prevention Month
National Critical Illness Awareness Month
National Cyber Security Awareness Month
National Dental Hygiene Month
National Dessert Month
National Disability Employment Awareness Month
National Depression Education & Awareness Month
National Domestic Violence Awareness Month
National Dropout Prevention Month
National Ergonomics Month
National Fair Trade Month
National Family Sexuality Education Month
National “Gain The Inside Advantage” Month
National Go On A Field Trip Month
National Kitchen & Bath Month
National Learning and Development Month
National Liver Awareness Month
National Medical Librarian Month
National Orthodontic Health Month
National Pasta Month
National Physical Therapy Month
National Pickled Peppers Month
National Pizza Month
National Popcorn Poppin’ Month
National Pork Month
National Pretzel Month
National Principals Month
National Protect Your Hearing Month
National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month
National Reading Group Month
National Roller Skating Month
National RSV Awareness Month
National Sarcastic Awareness Month
National Sausage Month
National Seafood Month
National Sensory Awareness Month
National Spina Bifida Awareness Month
National Stamp Collecting Month
National Sudden Cardiac Arrest Awareness Month – October
National Toilet Tank Repair Month
National Window Covering Safety Month
National Work and Family Month
National Sudden Infant Death Syndrome Awareness Month
Organize Your Medical Information Month
Pear and Pineapple Month
Photographer Appreciation Month
Polish American Heritage Month
Positive Attitude Month
Raptor Month
Rett Syndrome Awareness Month
Rhizomes and Persimmons Month
Rhubarb Month
Right Brainers Rule! Month
Self-Promotion Month
Spinach Lovers Month
Squirrel Awareness Month Link
Tackling Hunger Month
Talk About Prescriptions Month
Vegetarian Month
Wishbones for Pets Month
Workplace Politics Awareness Month
World Menopause Month

                              So, readers might assume that even though I’m a bit biased,                                my favourite October event is:

National Cookbook Month !

                                                       Pick one up and read it today!                                                                                             To borrow from the ad for the Capital One credit card,                              (“What’s in YOUR wallet?“)

                                                 What’s on YOUR cookbook shelf?

Cookbook collecting has even rubbed off on my cats! (Photo of Tux by Sue Jimenez)

Tux and Shadow picking a recipe for dinner (Photo by Sue Jimenez)

“Cooking with Poo” (Photo Credit: http://www.lolriot.com) (Not on my cookbook shelf, yet!)

I hope your cookbook shelf doesn’t look like this! (Photo Credit: http://www.bobvila.com)

“Alright. Time to browse “Joy of Cooking”. I wonder how this thing is CATegorized?” (Photo of Shadow by Sue Jimenez)

Why is it that the cookbook you want the most is always out of reach? (Photo Credit by the author of the author)

There’s a cookbook for everyone! “The Axis of Evil Cookbook” by Gill Partington

Advertisements

Landrails and Lapwings and Larks, oh my!

CLICK ABOVE TO PLAY MUSIC

Music – “English Birds Sounds” from Healing Water Magic Sounds: Soothing Rain, Beach, Waterfall, River, Calm Down Emotions, Relaxation Meditation Yoga Music by Water Sounds Music Zone. (release date not stated)

I have several “game” cookbooks in my collection, which I inherited as part of a large lot of cookbooks I purchased some time ago, however, I must admit that I don’t really gravitate to them, with their often brutal and lurid descriptions of butchering techniques.  One of these is “The Master Book of Poultry & Game” by Henry Smith, published by Spring Books in London.  The book is not dated, but research suggests it was published around 1950.

“The Master Book of Poultry & Game” by Henry Smith, ca. 1950

Now, on the frontispiece, Mr. Smith has a number of impressive credentials after his name:  F.H.C.I., F.I.B.B., F.A.H.C.I., F.A.C.I and G.C.F.A.  Unfortunately, I was unable to locate any explanations for these designations that might coincide with Mr. Smith’s publications.  For example, F.A.C.I. could be either Fellow of the American Concrete Institute, or Federal Advisory Committee on Insurance, but I suspect that Mr. Smith was not affiliated with either of these organizations.  That is, however, pure speculation on my part.

Mr. Smith, unfortunately, goes on at some length about starving, killing, hanging and how to determine if a bird is “home killed“.  Suffice it to say, this book is not high on my list of admirable cookbooks.  What startled (not “starling“) me was the incredible list of birds and other game the English were eating at the time the book was published (and, perhaps, still are).

Some of the names were completely unfamiliar to me:  I had never heard of a Capercailzie or a Corncrake, nor have I ever discussed the merits of Fig-Birds or Landrails with my colleagues.

A Fig-Bird (Photo Credit: http://www.commons.wikimedia.org)

A “Capercailzie” (Photo Credit: http://www.123rf.com)

 

Watch out, little Corncrake! (Photo Credit: http://www.connemava.net)

I cannot even picture a Lapwing, a Rail or a Wheatear, and I can only guess that a Widgeon must be a distant relative of the Widget.

 

This “Lapwing” better run faster! (Photo Credit: http://www.en.wikipedia.org)

“Landrail” (Photo Credit: http://www.britannica.com)

 

 

 

Poor little Wheatear! (Photo Credit: http://www.alamy.com)

 

 

 

 

 

 

A “Widgeon”, probably no relation to the “Widget” (Photo Credit: neilcooksgrigson.blogspot.com)

The “widget”, possibly related to the “widgeon” (Photo Credit: http://www.slant.co)

 

 

 

 

Recipes in the book include:  Badger Pie, Fried Blackbird, Wood Pigeon Casserole, Roast Cormorant and Roasted Cygnet (swan).

A trio of badgers. How could you eat these little fellows? (Photo Credit: http://www.animalsandenglish.com)

Here is a Roasted Swan (no telling what they REALLY serve!) (Photo Credit: http://www.leedsfan.blogspot.com)

 

 

 

 

 

Not to mention Brochette of Fig-pecker, Heron Pudding, Roast Peacock, Snipe a la Minute, and Fried Squirrel.

The “Figpecker” (Photo Credit: http://www.flickr.com)

No comment ! (Photo Credit: http://www.mywildkitchen.com)

 

 

Now, if none of these tickles your fancy (that might be a bird, as well!), there is always Roast Thrush, Haunch of Veal, Devilled Woodcock or Ortolan Perigourdine.

 

Even at the time this book was written, the author has described the Ortolan as “…almost extinct in these islands“.  He further points out that they were netted in large numbers in some European countries, “….then kept alive in darkened rooms and fattened on oats and millet”.

The endangered Ortolan. Like many other species, they have suffered a lot of cruelty. (Photo Credit: http://www.en.wikipedia.org)

Current information suggests that although being declared an endangered species for some time now, many individuals continue to capture them and subject them to horrible cruelties before devouring them.  Typically, they are drowned in a vat of Armagnac and eaten whole, bones, beak and all. The diner puts a large napkin over his head, allegedly to “…keep in all the aromas of the dish”, but it is more likely to avoid being caught eating the endangered ortolan. This does not sit well with me at all.  A pox be on these tormentors!

 

The Perfect Children of Bygone Cookbooks

CLICK ABOVE TO PLAY MUSIC

Music – “Helping in the Kitchen (Family Album / Kitchen and Curate)” from The Pilgrim (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack) (The Chaplin Revue) by Charlie Chaplin. Released: 2018

One of the more delightful characteristics of older cookbooks is that they open a window to the mood of the people, the prevailing winds of politics at the time, and expectations of and within the family unit. A bonus is that they come filled with recipes!

I recently purchased a reproduction (1983) copy of “The Romanian Cook Book“, originally published by Anisoara Stan, in 1951,  touted as “…the first book published in English which tells how to make the dishes for which the Romanians are so famous“.

“The Romanian Cookbook” by Anisoara Stan, first published in 1951.

Stan not only provides 450 Romanian recipes, but also some insights into her life growing up in Romania during World War I, her family, and life in Transylvania (no mention of Dracula anywhere in her book!)

What strikes me about the “narrative” portions of the cookbook, where Stan discusses her life, experiences and expectations of women in Romanian families during the war years,  is the gay, almost carefree, nose-to-the-grindstone (with good cheer, mind you) attitude of children concerning their participation in daily rituals and chores.  The author extolls their virtues and paints a picture of them as happy, bubbly, do-gooders.  For example, she writes about the role of the children after dinner:

“…the Romanian mother gathers her children around her and discusses with them the next day’s meal.  If they decide on ciorba (sour soup), every one (sic) gets busy.” 

Discussing the next day’s meal, perhaps, so the children can be assigned their chores? (Photo Credit: http://www.flickr.com)

“I wish you could watch the little hands of the youngsters, peeling and cutting the vegetables, preparing the meat, bringing in water, getting wood, and do believe me, with singing.” 

This doesn’t look like the smiling child working in the fields, as described by the author of “The Romanian Cook Book” (Photo Credit: http://www.libraryofcongress.com)

 

“We LOVE doing chores, like gathering wood. Don’t all children?” (Photo Credit: http://www.masterfile.com)

“Aren’t we supposed to be singing?” (Photo Credit: http://www.dp.la)

“Once they start to work they concentrate on what they are doing, having pride in their work, and so all their chores which mother or grandmother has delegated to them are done well and speedily, too.  As mothers sometimes work in the fields, the grandmother runs the kitchen.  She is treated with great respect and love, as befits her years and experience.” 

A small child helping grandma in the kitchen in bygone days (when grandmas were respected) (Photo Credit: http://www.alamy.com)

“After the children have completed their tasks, they can go out to play, to visit or work on whatever they love to do.  They feel a responsibility to their parents and help them always cheerfully, not with grumbling.  The parents, in turn, know how important it is to teach the girls the art of cooking, so that they in time will be fitted to run their own households.

“Is this a chore or is this child labor?” (Photo Credit: http://www.familyeducation.com)

Wow.  In this day and age, it is hard to read these passages without thinking, “Really?”  It almost sounds akin to a fairy tale, the well-behaved rosy-cheeked children, exuberant in their tasks, which sound more like fun and games.  I am in no way disparaging the author or her interpretation of these events, but it just seems too sugar-coated to be believable and I cite this book, only because it was so detailed in the descriptions of a bygone era.

Perhaps I am jaded in my observations of (many, but certainly not all) of today’s youth, self-absorbed, attached as if by some invisible umbilical cord to cellphones, IPods, smart phones, large-screen TV’s (in every room) etc. and have frequently been referred to as “Millennials” or the “entitled generation“.  Elders in this country today often lack the respect the author of “The Romanian Cookbook” alludes to during her growing up years in Romania.  Today, they are more likely to be ignored, taken advantage of, or even abused.  What happened?

“Grandma? What’s a Grandma?” (Photo Credit: http://www.mattaxelrod.com)

My Attempt at a Pieathalon 5 Medal!

CLICK ABOVE TO PLAY MUSIC

Music – “Get Baking / Bakewell Counting / Early Bake / Countryside Air / Final Destination (Get Baking Medley)” from Music Featured in the T.V. Program: The Great American Baking Competition by The London Film Score Orchestra. Released: 2014.

Readers may have seen my post of July 31st,  “New Olympic Event? The Pieathalon!” Well, the pie-baking day has arrived, after much putting-off and grumbling. (I am NOT a baker and entered this worthy competition with some trepidation) I was assigned “Walnut Pie” from “The Yul Brynner Cookbook“, published in 1983.   The recipe was courtesy of Jenny at Silver Screen Suppers.

I made my pie on August 15th, which, coincidentally happens to be “National Lemon Meringue Pie Day“, according to my book “Eat the Year“.  And, shame on me, I was making Walnut Pie!  Perhaps I’ve already violated some Pieathalon statute, like doping in the Olympics ? Actually, I don’t even think there are medals awarded (but it doesn’t matter, because my fireplace mantel is too cluttered with my other numerous awards.  Right.)

Nevertheless, I proceeded with caution, taking photographs at every opportunity, after continually dusting off flour from the lens of my camera.  First, the book and the recipe:

“The Yul Brynner Cookbook” 1983

The recipe for “Walnut Pie” from “The Yul Brynner Cookbook”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I assembled the ingredients for the pastry: flour, butter, a pinch of salt and one egg:

Ingredients for the pastry

Here is the sequence:

Start with the flour

Add the softened butter

Using a pastry cutter

The pastry after mixing

Add one egg

Adding a pinch of salt

The pastry

Now, according to my consulting book “The New High Altitude Cookbook“, I added a tablespoon of water to allow for the drying that often occurs during high altitude baking (don’t I sound like I do this all of the time?  Not!)

Adding a bit of water for high-altitude adjustment

After the dough was sufficiently mixed:

Prepped pastry cloth

The pastry ball

Rolling the pastry

Folding the crust

Putting the crust into the pie plate

Semi-finished pastry

I neglected to take a photograph of the fluted edges I gave the pastry, even though no instructions deemed it to have one.  In high school, I played the flute in music class and I have made fluted crusts on pies.  Unfortunately, I would have to admit that I was never good at either one (which might explain why I forgot to take a photograph!)

Once the pie crust was prepared, it seemed very buttery and soft to me, so I decided to pop it into the refrigerator until the filling was prepared.  The filling consists of light corn syrup, dark brown sugar (I had only light, so I hope this is not another infraction!), sour cream, a dash of salt, melted butter, vanilla extract, eggs and walnuts. Together, it seemed extremely rich and rather a lot of filling considering the size of the pie plate.  I used Mexican vanilla, which has a richer flavour.   I initially forgot to add the melted butter before stirring first, so I added it afterward and stirred again:

“Corn syrup”

“Brown sugar”

“Sour cream”

“A pinch of salt”

Adding vanilla

Stir, stir, stir

Adding the melted butter

Next, it was time to beat the eggs and add to the rest of the mixture.  I should point out that my beater was a Sunbeam Mixmaster, which I received as a gift in 1972 and is still going strong!

Guess what? 3 eggs!

Beating 3 eggs for the filling

Adding the beaten eggs to the mixture

Finally, it was ready to pour (I ladled – yet another infraction?) into the prepared pastry and scatter the walnuts over the top.  Although the recipe specified “whole shelled walnuts”, my local grocery seemed to be out of whole walnuts and I had to be satisfied with “halves and pieces” (perhaps another Pieathalon incumbent was in my neighbourhood and snatched up the whole pieces!)

After carefully assembling everything, I proceeded cautiously to my awaiting 350 degree oven:

“Pour the filling into the prepared pie crust”

“Scatter the walnuts on top”

Ready to go into the oven

Into the oven at 350 degrees…

Because there seemed to be so much filling and I was afraid it would overflow into a burned, sticky mess in my fairly new oven, I excluded about a half a cup of the filling, which I poured into a small Pyrex dish and sprinkled with walnuts (an extra bonus after the pie is finished!) I also put an aluminum piecrust protector ring on top of the pie, or whatever that gadget is called.

The recipe specified that the pie should bake for “45 minutes, or until filling is completely cooked“.  After 45 minutes at 350 degrees, I pulled out the oven rack and the contents of the pie quivered like quicksand, so back in it went.

“I don’t think it’s cooked yet!” (Photo Credit: http://www.blog.wsj.com)

I reset the timer for another 20 minutes.  After checking again, the quicksand had congealed a bit, but was definitely not ready to eat.  Another 15 minutes seem to do the trick, so after a total of 80 minutes, the pie was finally done and seemed to have set properly.

Not being a frequent baker (which I have already admitted to), and being at an altitude of about 5,700 feet, I know that weird things happen in the oven and on the stove top, and I think that at least part of the extra time required for the pie to set was a function of this anomaly.  When I first moved to Albuquerque, from just outside of Toronto (about 450 feet above sea level), I couldn’t understand why it took me FOREVER to boil potatoes!  I would put them in a pot and boil, and boil, and boil.  I learned after some trial and error that water boils at 212 degrees at or near sea level, but that due to atmospheric pressure, it boils at about 200 degrees at the elevation of my residence in southeast Albuquerque. The water is boiling away, but the temperature is lower, so it takes much longer.  Lesson learned (but not in baking!)

Now, for the ultimate decision about whether or not I am eligible for a Pieathalon medal (if there is one!):  the taste test!  I admit that I am not a lover of “sweet” things, however, my spouse is. Here is his verdict on the Walnut Pie:

Going…

…going…

…gone!

Pieathlon 5 (photo provided by Emily Brungo)

 

(all photos, unless otherwise specified, by Sue Jimenez)

New Olympic Event? The Pieathalon!

CLICK ABOVE TO PLAY MUSIC

Music – “Apples, Peaches, Pumpkin Pie” from 24 Polka’s Greatest Hits by Myron Floren. Released: 1995.

A possible new Olympic event is about to take place:  the Pieathalon!  It follows in a long line of “athlons“:  the pentathlon (pistol shooting, fencing, swimming, horseback riding and running), the triathlon (running, cycling and swimming), the biathlon (cross country skiing and shooting), and the decathlon (ten events including sprinting, hurdling, jumping and throwing), not to mention the duathlon (running and cycling), the heptathlon (seven events), and the tetrathlon (showjumping, swimming, running and pistol shooting).

However, in the Piathalon, “pieathletes” engage in the strenuous art of pie-making.

“Next year I’m switching from the biathlon to the pieathalon!” (Photo Credit: http://www.sportingnews.com)

According to food blogger Emily Brungo, this is the 5th Annual Pieathalon.  Essentially, the Pieathalon involves “…a bunch of food bloggers”, who are tasked with providing a pie recipe from a pre-1990 cookbook. Each participant submits a pie recipe, and the recipes are then re-assigned to another participant.

“Nobody said there was an age minimum to be a Pieathlete!” (Photo Credit: http://www.123rf.com)

The “Pieathlete” follows the recipe for the assigned pie, taking photographs and notes, and then, on an assigned date, posts the results for all to see.

No, not this kind of “PI” (Photo Credit: http://www.getdrawings.com)

 

 

The “Pieathalon” is NOT about baking the largest pie! (Photo Credit: http://www.pumpkinnook.com)

I was graciously extended an invitation from Emily, to participate in this event (but I can’t tell you what pie recipe I was assigned yet or I might not be invited to the 6th Annual Pieathlon!    

My pie shall remain a secret until the pie-reveal day. (Photo Credit: http://www.dreamstime.com)

Suffice it to say, I have studied my assigned recipe in-depth, even pulling out my high altitude cookbooks to consult so as not to mess it up (my house is at approximately 5,600 feet).  I am not really a baker, so I worry about my pie-making skill subset.  However, it sounds like good fun and a lot of recipes to share with other food bloggers.  When the pie crumbs have settled, I will post about the outcome.  In the interim, I must start flexing my pieathletic muscles!  Let the games begin!

“Wow. I sure hope I get invited back to next year’s Pieathalon!” (Photo Credit: http://www.alamy.com)

A Pieathlete in action. (Photo Credit: http://www.youtube.com)

This kind of behaviour by Pieathletes is frowned upon. (Photo Credit: http://www.youtube.com)

Celebrate July 4th with Broiled Sweetbreads, Tongue in Raisin Sauce & Liver Birds…Yum!

CLICK ABOVE TO PLAY MUSIC

Music – “I Won’t Eat That” from I Won’t Eat That by Willy Welch. Released: 2002.

Well, the 4th of July is nigh (that rhymes!) and American families across the country will be celebrating.  What better than a 4th of July dinner?  Here are a few suggestions for a humdinger of a July 4th dinner from a cookbook in my collection, “Cooking for American Homemakers“, published in 1950. These recipes are recommended specifically for “4th of July Dinner”, however please feel free to make adjustments or substitutions (or omissions!)

Broiled Sweetbreads with Bacon.  This is always at the top of the list for kids!  You’ll want to make extra so that everyone gets a bellyful!

Broiled sweetbreads. Yum….so tasty too! (Photo Credit: http://www.en.wikipedia.org)

 

Stewed Potatoes should be part of every 4th of July dinner, don’t you agree?  After all, don’t they look appetizing;  mushy, tepid, and swimming in a watery liquid?  Beats potato salad every time!

Stewed potatoes. (Photo Credit: http://www.justapinch.com)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The classic Tongue with Raisin Sauce might just supplant hot dogs, if it looks this good!  Make sure to artfully place the raisins to get those taste buds watering…

The ever popular 4th of July dinner staple:
Tongue with Raisin sauce (Photo Credit: http://www.pinterest.com)

 

And, 4th of July just wouldn’t be 4th of July without a heap of Jellied Consomme.  It’s even better than Jell-O!

Jellied consomme. Always a winner! (Photo Credit: http://www.flickr.com)

 

No 4th of July dinner would be complete without Frozen Tomato Appetizers.  Just make sure your guests have their dentist’s phone number handy.

Frozen tomato appetizer.  Cool, refreshing and tooth shattering. (Photo Credit: http://www.imgur.com)

 

 

 

 

 

 

Molded Cucumber Salad has been a winner since the 1950’s (hasn’t it?)  I’m still trying to figure out who decided that Jell-O and vegetables are a marriage made in heaven.

The ever-present molded cucumber salad. Whoever decided that Jell-O and vegetables went together? (Photo Credit: http://www.pinterest.com)

 

There are plenty of other recipes to try at your 4th of July outing:  Iced Orange Bouillon, Liver Birds (I think they’re on the endangered list), Kidney Veal Chops (?) or, perhaps, boring old Corn on the Cob (so pedestrian!).  Whatever meal you enjoy, have a happy and safe July 4th!

Oxymorons and Other Oddities in the Kitchen

CLICK ABOVE TO PLAY MUSIC

Music – “What’s An Oxymoron?” from Westmount Rhodesians by Bowser and Blue. Released: 1990

In browsing through several recently acquired used cookbooks, I was amused by some of the recipes and food terms, which I deem “oxymoronic“:  “Desert Seafood Broth“, “Crab Meat Salad – Which can be served as a delightful vegetarian dish“, “Boneless Ribs“, and “Naturally Artificial“.

“I’m safe! Not only boneless ribs, but NO ribs!” (Photo Credit: http://www.nosetotailapp.com)

It sorta’ looks like a shrimp….is this a constituent of “Desert Seafood Broth”?       (Photo Credit: http://www.youtube.com)

“I know it’s artificial, but is it NATURALLY artificial?” (Photo Credit: http://www.pacificgrassandturf.com)

Not to mention “Jumbo Shrimp“, “12 ounce Pound Cake“, and “Meatless Meatballs“.

Another oxymoron: how can a jumbo shrimp be a shrimp? (Photo Credit: http://www.seriouseats.com)

Example of an oxymoron: “meatless meatballs” (who are they kidding?) (Photo Credit: http://www.eatthismuch.com)

 

So, a “pound” cake is really only 12 ounces… (Photo Credit: http://www.threadless.com)

What gives?  And, exactly what is a “Cheese Steak“?

“Just cut them into the shape of a T-bone” (Photo Credit: http://www.toledoblade.com)

Then, there are the more “on the fringe” recipes.  Try to imagine “Swimming Chicken Curry“….

“Well, we can go swimming, but is sure doesn’t look like curry to me” (Photo Credit: http://www.earthlingsinternational.wordpress.com)

 

…or “Hoppers on Horseback”

“Help….I’m in mid-flight. Where’s the ?!? horse?”
(Photo Credit: http://www.dailyencouragement. wordpress.com)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ever tried “Self-Control Cabbage“?…

These are cabbages with self-control. (Photo Credit: http://www.etsy.com)

 

This is clearly a cabbage with no self-control. (Photo Credit: http://www.aliexpress.com)

… “Walk Toward the Light Cucumbers“…

“Up, up, up….go towards the light!!”                                          (Photo Credit: http://www.megahowto.com)

 

And, exactly what is “Sausage Stipulation“?…

“I stipulate that eating sausages is an abomination” (Photo Credit: http://www.thewrap.com)

Know what “Safety Marinade” looks like? (neither do I!) However, it allegedly uses a lot of rum and garlic and, in addition to a few other ingredients, “…makes an excellent protective blend”, according to author Patricia Telesco of “The Kitchen Witch Companion“.  The author also points out that loading knives in your dishwasher point up “…make for a hazard…” (well, duh!), which, perhaps “Safety Marinade” could have prevented.

Evidently, these knives had not been exposed to “Safety Marinade”. (Photo Credit: http://www.dailymail.co.uk)

If you ever run out of coffee filters, you can always make “Sock Coffee“….

“Maybe I should have washed the socks before I made the coffee…” (Photo Credit: http://www.youtube.com)

 

“Kitty Litter Cake” should amuse the children, as will “Popcorn Pie“.

“No, really….it’s OK kids….I’m a cake!” (Photo Credit: http://www.reddit.com)

Popcorn pie (gag, choke) (Photo Credit: http://www.superhealthykids.com)

 

 

 

 

Some of these recipes seem to resemble the outcome of a random word generator.  “Lopsided Fluffy Ripe Cherries“, “Spicy, Delicious, Chicken Juice Output“, or “Bite-Sized Meat Flavor Milk Jelly“, for example are totally nonsensical and probably non-existent (hopefully!)  All are  hard to visualize, let alone cook.  So, go ahead and find those oxymoronic and just plain weird recipes in your cookbooks.  They’re out there!

Sources:

The Kitchen Sink Cookbook (Carolyn Wyman)                                                                                The Kitchen Witch Companion (Patricia Telesco)                                                                            The Snacking Dead – A Parody in a Cookbook (D.B. Walker)                                                        Eater’s Digest (Lorraine Bodger)                                                                                                          Southwestern Soups, Stews, & Skillet Suppers (Judy Walker & Kim MacEachern)                  Quick & Easy Japanese Snacks & Light Meals (Yukiko Moriyama)

Better know your Scruples from your Suspicions and your Barrels from your Butts

CLICK ABOVE TO PLAY MUSIC

Music – “Get Baking / Bakewell Counting / Early Bake / Countryside Air / Final Destination (Get Baking Medley)” from Music Featured in the T.V. Program: The Great American Baking Competition by The London Film Score Orchestra. Released: 2014.

In our fully equipped modern 21st Century kitchens, and with people on frenzied schedules, there is a tendency to eschew the old tried-and-true cooking and baking “from scratch”.  So many quick-prep, little-prep, fast and speedy recipes and already prepared “convenience” foods are out there, many people just can’t grasp the concept of starting with an assortment of ingredients, combining them in certain ways and sequences, and lo and behold, producing a loaf of fresh bread, or a cake or similar delight.  In addition to following a “receipt” or recipe, especially in the 18th and 19th centuries in the UK, if you didn’t know a hogshead from a pottle, you were in deep trouble. Nowhere are accurate measurements so important as they are in baking.

Many of these older recipes call for “one large coffee-cup of sugar” and “one very large teaspoon of cinnamon”  But what, exactly is a “large coffee cup” and a “very large teaspoon“?

“…take a large coffee cup of sugar…” (Photo Credit: http://www.thinkgeek.com)

“…add a very large teaspoon of cinnamon…” (Photo Credit: http://www.scenicoasis.com)

Or “butter the size of an egg” as opposed to “butter the size of a hickory nut“.  If you’d never seen a hickory nut, you might add way too much. “Roll the paste the thickness of an Oliver biscuit” is pretty clear, unless you’ve never laid eyes on an Oliver biscuit.

“Good thing I had an Oliver biscuit on hand!” (Photo Credit: http://www.taste-of.co.uk)

If you had to add “…a suspicion of cinnamon“, just how much is that?  According to Wikipedia, it is “a trace or slight indication“. If your recipe calls for two scruples, a scruple is the equivalent of 20 grains, or approximately 1/2 teaspoon.

1 scruple

Zero scruples (Photo Credit: http://www.ibtimes.co.uk)

Or, what about the direction to “add analine the size of two grains of wheat“.  First of all, what is “analine“?  I could only find one vague reference to it, pertaining to a compound used in making perfumes, but “aniline” (if that is what was meant) is used in rubber processing, herbicides, and dyes and pigments.  According to Wikipedia, the main use of aniline was a precursor to indigo, the blue in blue jeans!  Why it would show up in a 19th century baking recipe is curious (and perhaps not very healthy!)

Even more curious is a recipe, which directs the baker to “Boil one and one-half cups
sugar with water enough to cover, until it hairs“.

..perhaps measuring the sugar….(Photo Credit: http://www.                         healthyfoodteam.com)

 

“Now, it’s finally getting hairy!” (Photo Credit: http://www.healthyfoodteam.com)

 

 

 

 

 

 

And, in another 19th century cake recipe, the instructions indicate “…if convenient, let it rise, if not, bake immediately.”  The repercussions for the lazy are obvious.

This is what happens if it’s “inconvenient” to let your cake rise…tsk, tsk. (Photo Credit: http://www.bakingbandgeek. blogspot.com)

 

“So, it will be a flat cake….I don’t have time to let it rise!” (Photo Credit: http://www.dreamstime.com)

For those in the 18th century trying to lose a few pounds, there are recipes for “diet bread” containing “…one pound sugar, nine eggs, beat for an hour (!), add to fourteen ounces flour, spoonful rose-water, one do.  Cinnamon or coriander, bake quick“.  Just the kind of food to help shed a few pounds!

“It’s OK…I can eat all I want….it’s Diet Bread!” (Photo Credit: http://www.roadtripmemories.com)

 

 

 

 

When we remember that there were no electric mixers or such contrivances in this time period, beating eggs for an hour seems not only exhausting, but would overwhip the eggs to death.

“Here’s your beer, you lazy so-and-so. I’ve got to get back to the kitchen and beat the eggs for another hour!” (Photo Credit: www. lifetakeslemons.wordpress.com)

“Bake quick” usually suggests a very hot oven.  Baking in a “… quick, but not a furiously hot oven” is another directive.

“This might be a tad too furious for my cake!”   (Photo Credit: http://www.pinterest.com)

 

 

 

Many 18th and 19th century recipes indicate that an ingredient should equal the number of eggs.  For example, in a recipe for Providence Sponge Cake, the directions indicate “…the weight of ten eggs in sugar, of six in flour and a little salt.”  Some recipes specify rather disproportionate amounts of ingredients, such as “…five pounds of sifted loaf sugar to five whites of eggs“.  This recipe is even more tiring for the baker than one mentioned previously….the mixture was to be “….beaten two hours in a cool place“!

“The recipe says to beat two hours in a cool place….whew!” (Photo Credit: http://www.shutterstock.com)

As to measurements, many of them are older and seldom referred to in most cookbooks today.  Would you know what it meant to “…cut up three-quarters of a pound of butter into a jill and a half or three wine glasses of rich, unskimmed milk“?

Something that appears in many baking recipes in older cookbooks is “carbonate of ammonia“.  In some recipes, the baker is instructed to grind it down and rub it with the sugar in the recipe.

Carbonate of ammonia, used in baking years ago (Photo Credit: http://www.ebay.com)

According to Wikipedia, carbonate of ammonia is it is used as a leavening agent and also as smelling salt. Whew….powerful stuff!  Also, directions to “…dissolve the pearl-ash in vinegar” feature in many older baking recipes. Pearlash (pearl ash) or salts of tartar was a common leavening agent at the time.

Pearl ash (pearlash), also used as a leavening agent many years ago (Photo Credit: http://www.fourpoundsflour.com)

 

 

 

Other recipes allow a certain “whatever” attitude in baking.  For example, in one 19th century recipe for a sponge cake, the baker is instructed to “…take 4, 6, 8 or 10 eggs, weight of eggs in powdered sugar half that weight in flour…beat the yolks ten minutes, mix them well with sugar and one teaspoonful of essence of lemon. Beat whites separate and stir in last.”  As long as you have the correction proportion of powdered sugar and flour for the number of eggs you are using, I would suppose all is well, but the recipe requires rereading a few times to clarify this.

A recipe for “Independence Cake” appears to be most unwieldy for the home baker:  “Twenty pounds of flour, fifteen pounds of sugar, ten pounds of butter, four dozen of eggs, one quart of wine, one quart of brandy, one ounce of nutmegs, three ounces of cinnamon, cloves and mace, two pounds of citron, five pounds each of currants and raisins, and one quart of yeast.  Frost it and dress it with (?) leaf.”

“Grandma, here’s the flour for your cake…” (Photo Credit: http://www.eventprop  hire.com)

Another feature of many of these older recipes is the lack of specifics as to the sequence of mixing and the approximate baking and cooling times.  In addition, some recipes have the baker adding, subtracting, and substituting to the degree that is bound to confuse the mathematically challenged baker (like myself).  For a 19th century “Rice Sponge Cake“, “…put twelve eggs into a scale, and balance them in the other scale with their weight in broken loaf-sugar.  Take out four of the eggs, remove the sugar, and balance the remaining eight eggs with an equal quantity of rice-flour…”  No telling how this cake would turn out if you lost track of the ingredients.

One of my favourite recipes is from a 19th century cookbook, pertaining to cakes that are a tad past their prime:  “If you have loaf cake slightly injured by time, or by being kept in the cellar, cut off all appearance of mould from the outside, wipe it with a clean cloth, and wet it well with strong brandy and water sweetened with sugar ; then put it in your oven, and let the heat strike through it, for fifteen or twenty minutes. Unless very bad, this will restore the sweetness.”

Possibly, a bit of cake just a tad past its’ prime (Photo Credit: http://www.dreamstime.com)

A recipe for “young people and delicate stomachs” includes “...six ounces of rice, six ounces of flour, the yolks and whites of nine eggs, half a pound of lump sugar, and half an ounce of caraway seeds“.  Of course, the ingredients must be beaten for one hour, which, apparently, “…makes a very light cake”.

Many of these older recipes only specify “makes a large cake“.  The number of servings are rarely indicated, but the following recipe would have been sufficient to feed the corpulent King Henry VIII  “...nine pounds of flour, nine of sugar, seven and a half of butter, ten of raisins, eight of currants, three of citron, forty-two eggs, two ounces of mace, 9 nutmegs, cloves as  you please, one and half pints of brandy, one and a half pints of wine“.

“You mean I have to beat ALL of these for 2 hours?!” (Photo Credit: http://www.americanliterature.com)

“I think this bowl will be big enough for 9 pounds of flour, ten pounds of raisins, 42 eggs, etc.” (Photo Credit: http://www.the berkeleykitchens.com)

A 1864 recipe for “Mrs. Briggs Election Cake” indicates that the baker is to “...lay a sponge overnight with milk, next morning add to the sponge a pint of flour, one coffee cup of sugar, one of butter, one nutmeg, teaspoon of soda and fruit if you choose”

“Well, the recipe said to lay a sponge overnight, but something doesn’t look quite right…” (Photo Credit: http://www.alamy.com)

 

 

 

 

 

Other common measurements in 18th and 19th century cookbooks, especially in the UK included the gill (also known as “Jill“), the pottle (2 quarts), and your coombs (4 bushels) and wey (40 bushels).

This is not a “jill” as in cooking terms. (Photo Credit: www. gettyimages.com)

 

 

This is the “jill” or gill meant in measurements! (Photo Credit: http://www.britannica.com)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then you have your firkins, ankers, runlets, hogheads, puncheons and butts, not to mention others…

 

Not this butt… (Photo Credit: http://www.junk-o.com)

….THIS butt! (Photo Credit: http://www.pinterest.com)

So, there you have it.  Be careful when measuring your scruples (assuming you have some), and be suspicious with your cinnamon.  Happy baking!

Whatever Happened to Fanny Cradock?

CLICK ABOVE TO PLAY MUSIC

Music – “Whatever Happened to You” from Don Elliot Sings by Don Elliot. Released: 2015

I don’t know about your attention to detail, but frequently, my spouse will read something in the paper that “so and so“, of some fame, has just expired. Typically, I will respond with “I thought he/she was already dead”. Well, after an American newspaper mistakenly published his obituary, Mark Twain quipped “The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated“.

(Photo Credit: http://www.okshooters.com)

Now, to the point. Whatever happened to Fanny Cradock? For those of you (like me), you might never have heard of Fanny Cradock.

Fanny Cradock in 1975 (Photo Credit: http://www.ioffer.com)

 

I had not, until fairly recently, when I was researching something for another post and  images and stories of her popped up across the world-wide web. Thus, I began thinking about all of the other Fanny Cradock types, who were famous (some, infamous) in the cooking realm in their heyday and pondered if any of them were still among the living. Thus, this post.

According to Wikipedia, Fanny Cradock (born Phyllis Nan Sortain Pechey) was born in Essex, England in 1909.

Undated photo of Fanny Cradock (Photo Credit: http://www.turnipnet.com)

She was variously an English restaurant critic, a TV celebrity chef (long before the notoriety of such chefs), and a writer. She frequently appeared on television and conducted cooking demonstrations. In 1955, she recorded a pilot for what became a very successful BBC series on cookery. She, with her husband “Johnnie Cradock”, wrote a column in the Daily Telegraph from 1950 to 1955, under the pen name “Bon Viveur” and she introduced unusual European dishes to her audience.  Apparently, she led a colourful life and as she grew older, she applied more and more make-up and usually sported elaborate chiffon ball gowns during her cooking demonstrations. Fanny went to that great food place in the sky in 1994 at the age of 85.

Fanny in later years (Photo Credit: http://www.kayjayaitch@wordpress.com)

 

 

 

 

 

Those of us, who were greatly amused (and bemused) by the “Two Fat Ladies” of television and cookbook fame in the mid 1990’s might wonder “whatever happened to…” Clarissa Wright and Jennifer Paterson.

“Two Fat Ladies” (Photo Credit: http://www.dailymail.co.uk)

Jennifer Paterson, one of the “Two Fat Ladies” (Photo Credit: waytofamous.com)

 

 

 

 

Clarissa, born Clarissa Theresa Philomena Aileen Mary Josephine Agnes Elsie Trilby Louise Esmerelda Dickson Wright (whew!) in 1947, was not only an English celebrity chef but was also a writer and a former barrister (read: lawyer). Her sidekick, Jennifer Paterson was born in 1928 and passed away in 1999.

Clarissa Dickson-Wright and Jennifer Paterson (Photo Credit: http://www.pinterest.co.uk)

 

The two co-authored a number of cookbooks including “Two Fat Ladies: Gastronomic Adventures” (1996), “Cooking with the Two Fat Ladies” (1998), “The Two Fat Ladies Ride Again” (1998), “The Two Fat Ladies Full Throttle” (1999) and “Two Fat Ladies – Obsessions” (1999).

 

“Cooking with the two fat ladies”

In filming their series “Two Fat Ladies“, the two travelled to their filming locations around the country on Jennifer’s motorcycle, with Clarissa occupying the sidecar.  They were known for their recipes featuring a rather heavy-handed approach with butter, lard, and sugar.  As Clarissa was fond of saying “Never trust a thin cook“.  She died in 2014.

Jennifer Paterson and Clarissa Dickson-Wright, aka “Two Fat Ladies” (Photo Credit: http://www.dailymail.co.uk)

 

 

 

Some of you, like myself, “of an age“, might be familiar with other “whatever happened to...” chefs:  Simone Beck, Ken Hom, Madhur Jaffrey, Graham Kerr, Martin Yan, and Rokusaburo Michiba, to name but a few.

Born in 1904, Simone Beck is best known in America because of her collaboration in writing “Mastering the Art of French Cooking” in 1961, with Julia Child and Louisette Bertholle. “Mastering the Art of French Cooking, Vol. II” (without Louisette Bertholle) followed in 1970.

Simone Beck (right), with Louisette Bertholle and Julia Child in their early days of working together (Photo Credit: http://www.maefood.blogspot.com)

 

Child, of course, became a successful television chef in the United States, while Beck continued her teaching practice at home in France. In 1972 she published her own cookbook, “Simca’s Cuisine“.

“Simca’s Cuisine” published in 1972      (Photo Credit: http://www.goodreads.com)

Her autobiography and last cookbook (with Suzy Patterson), was published in 1991, the year she died.

In 1982, after a 2-year global search, the BBC auditioned Ken Hom for a Chinese cookery series. According to Wikipedia, the resulting TV series “Ken Hom’s Chinese Cookery” was a huge success and the companion book became one of the best-selling cookbooks ever published by BBC Books, selling more than 1.5 million copies. Today after numerous printings it still remains in print.

Ken Hom in 1984 (Photo Credit: http://www.dailymail.co.uk)

 

Mr. Hom, born in 1949, has appeared in numerous BBC series and in 2012, he co-presented the BBC series “Exploring China: A Culinary Adventure” with Ching He Huang. Since 1981 he has authored many cookbooks, including “Chinese Technique“, published in 1981 and “My Kitchen Table: 100 Easy Chinese Suppers“, in 2012.

Ken Hom in 2014…still “wokking”! (Photo Credit: http://www.en.wikipedia.org)

Madhur Jaffrey, born in 1933, started her career as an Indian-born actress and later blossomed into a food and travel writer and television personality.

Madhur Jaffrey on the set of “Shakespeare-Wallah” , circa 1965 (Photo Credit: http://www.gettyimages.com)

 

 

 

 

She brought Indian cuisine to the Americas with her first cookbook “An Invitation to Indian Cooking“, published in 1973, which was inducted into the James Beard Foundation’s Cookbook Hall of Fame in 2006.

“An Introduction to Indian Cooking” by Madjur Jaffrey, published in 1973

She has authored more than a dozen cookbooks and has appeared in the notable “Madhur Jaffrey’s Indian Cookery” television program, which began in the UK in 1982. She continues to be a food consultant.

Madhur Jaffrey in 2010 (Photo Credit: http://www.indiawest.com)

 

 

 

 

 

Most foodies will remember “The Galloping Gourmet“, aka Graham Kerr. Born in London, he made several moves over the years, first to New Zealand, then to Australia, and finally, Canada. While in New Zealand, in 1958, he became chief catering advisor for the Royal New Zealand Air Force.

Graham Kerr aka “The Galloping Gourmet” on the set in 1969 (Photo Credit: http://www.nytimes.com)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It was during his tenure in Canada that he hosted “The Galloping Gourmet“, from 1969 to 1971, which was a smash. “The series was known for its lighthearted humour, tomfoolery and the copious use of clarified butter, cream and fat”, according to Wikipedia and Kerr would begin each show by running in and leaping over a chair in the dining room set.

“The Galloping Gourmet” jumping over a dining room chair on the set  (holding a glass of wine!) (undated) (Photo Credit: http://www.tastecooking.com)

“The Graham Kerr Cookbook” by “The Galloping Gourmet”

He published numerous cookbooks and later appeared in other shows including “The Graham Kerr Show” and “Graham Kerr’s Kitchen“, as well as other series. He is currently writing his 31st book titled, “Alone“.

Graham Kerr in 2017 (Photo Credit: http://www.kobeltimes.com)

Martin Yan, born in China in 1948, hosted his award-winning PBS-TV cooking show “Yan Can Cook“, which commenced in 1982.

Martin Yan with Jacques Pepin in the early 1990’s (Photo Credit: http://www.kqed.org)

He opened a chain of “Yan Can Restaurants” and founded the “Yan Can International Cooking School” in the San Francisco Bay Area. He also has more than two dozen cookbooks to his credit. He hosts “Martin Yan – Quick and Easy” In addition, he has served as a guest judge on shows including “Hell’s Kitchen“, “Top Chef“, “Iron Chef America” and “Iron Chef Vietnam“.

Martin Yan on his show “Yan Can Cook” (undated) (Photo Credit: http://www.livewellnetwork.com)

The Yan Can Cookbook

Rokusaburo Michiba, born in 1931, is a Japanese cuisine chef most notable as the first Japanese Iron Chef on the television series “Iron Chef” and appeared on the series from its beginnings in 1993 until his retirement in 1996.

Rokusaburo Michiba cooking on “Iron Chef” (Photo Credit: http://www.whosdatedwho.com)

 

 

After his retirement as an Iron Chef, he continued to make the occasional appearance on the show. A special tribute “The Legend of Michiba“, was dedicated to him in 1996. Michiba’s trademark item was his famous “Broth of Vigour“, which he featured in nearly all of the dishes he prepared for the Iron Chef series.

Rokusaburo Michiba in 2017 (Photo Credit: http://www.sbs.com.au)

On a final note, perhaps one day we will ask “whatever happened to...” Susur Lee, Chuck Hughes, Roger Mooking, Gail Simmons, or Claudio Aprile? Perhaps they are sitting comfortably somewhere in The Great White North, counting their loonies!

Do Not Sit Down on Food and Crockery & Never Cut your Pie with a Knife

CLICK ABOVE TO PLAY MUSIC

“The Table Manners Polka” from The Best Foot Forward Series: Gratitude Attitude by Mike Soloway. Released: 2013

Manners and a sense of”decorum” are universal.  What is acceptable within one culture is totally rude in another.  I suppose that is where the expression “When in Rome, do as the Romans do” originated.   If you should travel outside of your comfort zone without a sound knowledge of other people’s customs and manners, you are bound to offend, appear to be RUDE and generally will not be invited for a return engagement.

“I say we toss her out of town. She is clearly NOT doing as the Romans do, when in Rome!” (Photo Credit: http://www.commons.wikimedia.org)

Many “older” cookbooks generally have a chapter on etiquette or “table manners” and the majority of them were published at the turn of the century and into the 1940’s.  Somehow, though, apparently etiquette went the way of the dinosaur, at least in more recent cookbooks and in my large collection, I seldom see any mention of such mundane topics in books published in the last 50 or so years.  If there is a recently published cookbook, which includes a section on “table manners”, I sincerely hope that #1 rule is: NO CELL PHONES AT THE DINING TABLE, NO MATTER WHERE OR WHEN, PERIOD!

From my collection, I selected a few cookbooks with sections on such esoteric matters. From a marvelous and, I assume, seldom seen cookbook entitled “The Kazakh national cuisine“, published in 2007, the following are extracted from the chapter “Omens, bans and popular notions regarding meals“.

“For sure one should not speak with his mouth full“.

Not speaking with a mouthful would be impossible for this gentleman! (Photo Credit: http://www.meme-arsenal.com)

“I kent tok….my mowf if fool” (Photo Credit: http://www.tamigrimmius.  blogspot.com)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“A child should not eat brains, otherwise he will grow into a very slow and sluggish person”

This child is at risk for becoming slow and sluggish. (Photo Credit: http://www.pinterest.com)

“One should not say bad things about the food”

“You didn’t have to SAY anything.  I get the message!”Photo Credit: http://www.alamy.com)

 

 

 

 

 

 

“One should not eat out-of-doors, standing, walking or lying”

You might be ashamed if you acted this way in a Kazakh home. (Photo Credit: http://www.cheznews.com)

“A child eating bread crumbs will make rich”

“Look out Warren Buffet and Bill Gates!” (Photo Credit: http://www.gettyimages.co.uk)

“Adults are prohibited to sit at the table without clothes, with bare torso”

“You mean, this isn’t allowed at a Kazakh dining table?” (Photo Credit: http://www.twitter.com)

“If a person hiccups, they say, he secretly ate food that he had stolen”

“Whoops….guilty as charged. I cannot tell a lie: I stole the dumpling” (Photo Credit: http://www.thealternativedaily.com)

And, lastly, from “The Kazakh national cuisine: “One should not sit down on food and crockery”

This cat obviously doesn’t live in a Kazakh household, otherwise he would have been banished. (Photo Credit: http://www.meowingtons.com)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

From “The Household Library“, published in 1905 come the following bits of etiquette:

“...pouring liquids down the throat as down a pipe….are indulgences conferring no additional pleasure on the eater, but seriously marring the comfort of his neighbors”

“Glug, glug, glug….” (Photo Credit: http://www.phoulballz.com)

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Soup is to be taken without noise from the side of the spoon opposite to that which is dipped in the liquid”

“You’re doing it wrong, Mom….from the side, from the side!” (Photo Credit: http://www.feedingmykid.com)

As for lettuce, “It is the worst possible taste to scrutinize each leaf carefully before eating”

“You’re examining every leaf? How rude!” (Photo Credit: http://www.greenhousemontessorischool.com)

“It is never allowable to take up a bone with the fingers, in public or private”

“Okay, okay. When I learn how to use a knife and fork, I’ll learn how to be more civilized” (Photo Credit: http://www.simplebites.net)

“Never cut your pie with a knife”

“No, really, it’s OK. It’s only AFTER the pie is out of the pan that the rule applies” (Photo Credit: http://www.bakingbites.com)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Bread may be used as a pusher, but should not be employed to soak up the gravy on the plate”

“I’m just pushing, not soaking!” (Photo Credit: http://www.alamy.com)

(after the meal is over) “The napkins are laid on the table quietly, not folded: the ladies pass out, the men stand until they have gone…”

“Well, it says in “The Household Library”, that after dinner “…the ladies pass out…” (Photo Credit: http://www.pinterest.co.uk)

And, published in 1852, the “Ladies’ Indispensable Assistant…” has a few things to say about table manners.

Reproduction

“Carefully abstain from every act or observation that may cause disgust, such as spitting…”

“You, Madam, are disgusting!” (Photo Credit: http://www.recordsetter.com)

“Making a noise in chewing, or breathing hard in eating, are both unseemly habits, and ought to be avoided”

“You’re not only making a lot of chewing noises, but you’re also breathing hard. Stop it at once, you rude person” (Photo Credit: http://www.badgirlgoodbizblog.com)

“Eat peas with a dessertspoon”

“How crass…eating peas with a knife! Where did you grow up?” (Photo Credit: http://www.woollygreen.com”

“A man who monopolises a conversation is a bore, no matter how great his knowledge”

“Boy, is he long-winded. Will this monologue never end?” (Photo Credit: http://www.gz.com)

In addition, “Never get into a dispute….never lose temper…”

Fighting at the dinner table is not only rude, but it messes with the digestion. (Photo Credit: http://www.gettyimages.com)

Everyone knows this golden rule: “Never scratch your head, pick your teeth, clean your nails, or worse than all, pick your nose in company”

“Look, Doris. I can pick my teeth and clean my right ear at the same time!” (Photo Credit: http://www.dack.com)

And, to bring us up to date in 2018….

”             ” (lack of conversation)                  (Photo Credit:      http://www.baybusinesshelp.com)