CLICK ABOVE TO PLAY MUSIC
Music – “What’s An Oxymoron?” from Westmount Rhodesians by Bowser and Blue. Released: 1990
In browsing through several recently acquired used cookbooks, I was amused by some of the recipes and food terms, which I deem “oxymoronic“: “Desert Seafood Broth“, “Crab Meat Salad – Which can be served as a delightful vegetarian dish“, “Boneless Ribs“, and “Naturally Artificial“.
Not to mention “Jumbo Shrimp“, “12 ounce Pound Cake“, and “Meatless Meatballs“.
What gives? And, exactly what is a “Cheese Steak“?
Then, there are the more “on the fringe” recipes. Try to imagine “Swimming Chicken Curry“….
…or “Hoppers on Horseback”
Ever tried “Self-Control Cabbage“?…
… “Walk Toward the Light Cucumbers“…
And, exactly what is “Sausage Stipulation“?…
Know what “Safety Marinade” looks like? (neither do I!) However, it allegedly uses a lot of rum and garlic and, in addition to a few other ingredients, “…makes an excellent protective blend”, according to author Patricia Telesco of “The Kitchen Witch Companion“. The author also points out that loading knives in your dishwasher point up “…make for a hazard…” (well, duh!), which, perhaps “Safety Marinade” could have prevented.
If you ever run out of coffee filters, you can always make “Sock Coffee“….
“Kitty Litter Cake” should amuse the children, as will “Popcorn Pie“.
Some of these recipes seem to resemble the outcome of a random word generator. “Lopsided Fluffy Ripe Cherries“, “Spicy, Delicious, Chicken Juice Output“, or “Bite-Sized Meat Flavor Milk Jelly“, for example are totally nonsensical and probably non-existent (hopefully!) All are hard to visualize, let alone cook. So, go ahead and find those oxymoronic and just plain weird recipes in your cookbooks. They’re out there!
The Kitchen Sink Cookbook (Carolyn Wyman) The Kitchen Witch Companion (Patricia Telesco) The Snacking Dead – A Parody in a Cookbook (D.B. Walker) Eater’s Digest (Lorraine Bodger) Southwestern Soups, Stews, & Skillet Suppers (Judy Walker & Kim MacEachern) Quick & Easy Japanese Snacks & Light Meals (Yukiko Moriyama)