CLICK ABOVE TO PLAY MUSIC
Music – “Microwaves (Are Watching You)” from Microwaves (Are Watching You) by Randy Rainbow. Released: 2017
Well, the dust has finally settled after the mega kitchen remodel (mostly on every piece of furniture outside of the kitchen!) From start to finish (with the exception of a tile problem, which is being resolved as I write this), we endured 18 days of smashing, ripping, crashing, banging and all of the other myriad sounds emanating from a kitchen in the process of being demolished.
This does not include, however, the intervening 6 weekend days in between work days, in which we were essentially held hostage in the sense that the kitchen was a barren wasteland, nor does it include approximately 5 days pre and 5 days post, for me to “deconstruct” the contents of my kitchen and pack them up, and the “reconstruction” phase, in which I emptied all of those packed cartons and assigned the contents to their spots in the new kitchen (I have a lot of “stuff”). I think this is what is akin to people saying, “….once in a lifetime event“, which I most heartily endorse.
As we had no kitchen sink, no stovetop, no dishwasher, and no oven, for several weeks, we “camped” out using a small wet bar adjacent to our family room. Trying to do dishes in an 8″ by 10″ sink is not fun. Luckily, loving to cook, I had a good selection of back-up appliances to cook with, so we weren’t entirely roughing it in the wild.
The old kitchen was the original, built on-site, when the house was constructed in 1970. Some of the plywood cabinet doors were warped (much to our cat, Tux’s delight!), all of the shelves were fixed and there was wasted space in dark, faraway and inaccessible places in some of them. In addition, there were two tacky flourescent lights, reminiscent of a stroll through Walmart. The kitchen had to go, including the old double-ovens.
Which brings me, now, to the microwave, that obstinate, mulish, stubborn techno-marvel, which refused to budge from its’ comfortable little niche above my cooktop, wedged between cabinets. It was there, when we moved into our residence in January, 2015, and, according to popular wisdom, it was a 1990’s model.
Having spent a goodly number of years in situ might account for its intractable and tenacious hold on the kitchen wall, even in the midst of chaos, when everything around it was being torn asunder.
Three collective contractor heads (whose anonymity is preserved here) pondered the situation, and failing to budge it, destruction went on around it, until it was left hanging starkly alone on the wall, which had previously been filled with old, worn, and warped cabinets. The mulish microwave was not going down without a fight.
There were a few other surprises in the old kitchen. Two nicely mummified mice were found wedged between the back of a floor cabinet and the wall in a cardboard trap, a couple of old coupons for cigarette promotions, ca 1970, and a slew of assorted seeds, which came cascading down from the hole left in the ceiling, when the old flourescent fixture was removed. If there were any active critters up there at the time, their fate is now sealed.
In addition, what the contractor initially thought to be a faux-brick plastic backsplash turned out to be real brick. Like the mulish microwave, it was also determined to stay in place.
The new cabinets duly arrived and were subsequently put in place, but the mulish microwave now had to be reinstalled. Once again, it took the collective heads and brute force of several contractors to replace it. The tolerances on either side of the new cabinets were negligible, so it was a real struggle to get it back into its home. Still stubborn, it fought back with some obstinacy.
However, at long last, it was over. Shiny new cabinets with soft-close doors, a Lazy-Susan, slide out trays and more, a brand-spanking new Corian countertop, a new oven (wider than 15 inches), a re-installed stove top and dishwasher, new sink and faucet, new lights, fresh paint and of course, the mulish microwave back in place, we were finally up and running just in time for Thanksgiving (the Amercun’ one). Only one more hurdle to go: soon, the finance man cometh.